The Book of Mormon Experience.

I've been trying to figure out what to write about this life changing experience for the whole day. Words really can't express how I am feeling about this past weekend, I mostly write this down so I can remember, but you are more than welcome to read along :) I want to remember all that I can from this weekend. It was one of those experiences where you walk away feeling better and wanting to do better and to change.
It all started the Sunday after General Conference when my Bishop announced that sometime in November we would be reading the book of Mormon in 2 days.  I thought to myself.. that sounds cool, but I probably won't be able to go.  I'll probably have a job and I won't be able to get it off. (sounds like I have no faith huh?!) Well, the weeks went by, I got a Full-time job and decided I really just wouldn't be going. Long story short... I ended up having the impression come that I really needed to go and I should ask someone to work for me. It was so hard, since I had a million and one reasons of why I shouldn't go, including the reason that I just really don't know anyone in my ward. But surprisingly it was really easy to get someone to work for me and I ended up trying my best to prepare for this weekend of the Book of Mormon.

Early Friday morning we met at the church and headed up together to Aspen Grove in Provo Canyon. Even the whole time we drove up there and we started reading... I had feelings come that I really didn't want to be there and that I shouldn't have come. Friday was my trial of Faith. really... it was so hard. We just read and read and read and read and read and read some more. I was tired, I started to not feel good and I was just not in the best attitude. We didn't get to bed until about 11:30 and then I struggled to sleep with all the snoring and heavy breathing going on around me...and I had to wake up at 5 in the morning. So about 2 hours of laying in bed not being able to sleep, I left the room and slept on the couch. I woke up the next morning feeling so excited to go home that day.

We get to the main Cabin about 5:45 and we started reading by 6am. Now when I say we read I don't mean we were all sitting on the floor reading to ourselves, we read this together! Whether that was us listening to someone read it to us, or listening to a tape, or us acting it out with outfits and swords, crowns.. ha ha! We started reading and at about 7 the lady who was over our activity stopped the tape and said she felt impressed that our bishop should sit up front and stop the tape and talk to us whenever he felt prompted to. I am so grateful she acted on that prompting, because it changed the whole experience for me.
**I always knew from day one that I attended the singles ward that Bishop Lemmon was my Bishop.  I knew I needed to attend the singles ward because I just knew He was my Bishop. I have never felt that way before, but I just knew! And this experience along with some I have had before this weekend just helped me know that, that feeling I had a while ago was true.  We were reading in Alma where Alma the Younger is giving council to his sons Helaman, Shiblon, and Corianton. There was one particular verse that says... (Alma 41:10) "Wickedness never was happiness" and Bishop Lemmon stopped it and said..." Wickedness never was happiness... that's true, but you can replace wickedness with really any sin. Pornography never was happiness, cheating never was happiness, lying never was happiness, selfishness never was happiness...etc" I was really touched by that. I had heard that phrase so much throughout my life, but I had never replaced that word by those other ones. And it really changed the way I looked at my situation in life right now. I'm not in some huge trial or difficulty, but at times i wonder why my happiness isn't as big as at other times in my life and I realized... I let sin and my worldly wants get in the way and that really doesn't bring you happiness. THINGS OF THE WORLD NEVER ARE HAPPINESS" You cannot buy your happiness, comfort, self worth, good conscious, good attitude. It may give you happiness for a time, but when the excitement dulls, or something cooler comes out... we realize, it didn't give us the happiness we were searching for because we looked in the wrong spot.  At times in life we let our Natural man get the best of us and we think we'll be happier when we buy that new car, when we get married, when we have a baby, when we buy a new house, when we graduate from college. But then those things happen and we get off our high and we go back to our normal level. We are taught that only when we have Gratitude, is when our happiness is lifted higher. We are on a whole new level of happiness. I hope to remember to always be grateful!

**The cool thing about reading the book of Mormon in basically a day was that I learned how often the Book of Mormon repeats itself. And we learn from the prophets that when it is repeated, it is something we need to remember. In 2 nephi between the chapters 15-20 it is repeated about 5 times: " For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still." Think about that. God knows our sins, He knows our mistakes, He knows when we don't pray, or care someone else, when we have a selfish moment, when we don't put Him and His plan first in our life.  But his hand is stretched out still. He LOVES US SO MUCH. He knows we are imperfect but He still LOVES US.  He is always going to have his hand stretched out, He has it stretched out because He wants us to grab His hand. We don't have to fight sin alone. We don't have to fight this world alone. He is there for us.

**1st Nephi 15:27 "And i said unto them that the water which my Father saw was filthiness; and so much was his mind swallowed up in other things that he beheld not the filthiness of the water."

-Do you realize how cool that verse is?? this is when Nephi is interpreting the Tree of life vision that his father saw. He is saying that He couldn't see how bad and filthy the world really was because His mind was full of other things. Other things meaning GOOD THINGS. I realized that I have to fill my life with GOOD THINGS so that the bad things I won't be able to see as clearly. It doesn't mean that it's not there, but it's that my mind is focused on Godly things. I realized it is not enough in my daily life to just read the scriptures and pray. I have to FILL my life with good things. I have to change my daily every day acts. I have to walk away from sin and fill my life with good things. I have to attend the temple, I have to spend my time doing things other than sit on Facebook and being Idle. That is why we are commanded to not be idle. So that we don't fall into sin. Satan see's us doing nothing and it's so much easier to tempt us. And we are so easily persuaded to do that which is not good. We get into really bad habits really easily.

**Do you also realize how cool the principle of Agency is? It's basically why we are here. Our choices here on earth effect the rest of our life. Literally. It determines where we end up living. Are we choosing the right decisions in our daily lives? Are we choosing to live with our Heavenly Father. Basically we decided where we end up in the end. We would not feel comfortable living with our Father in Heaven and His son Jesus Christ when we've only chosen bad things our whole lives. He won't force us somewhere where we won't feel comfortable. Most of the time the decisions we think are not important such as things pertaining to our families, friends, relationships, are some of the most important decisions we can make here on earth. Those are the things that are permanent. (it reminds me of president Uchtdorfs talk when he said Love is really spelled T.I.M.E. We will live forever with our families, we will remember the relationships we had with them. Do we try to fix things that are bad? Do we forgive? Do we realize that people aren't perfect? Do we forgive ourselves? Do we repent and change? Do we understand the atonement? How much time do you put into learning about the gospel? Those are some questions I had to ask myself.

**Some think of Jesus Christ as our cheerleader here on earth.  He is our SAVIOR. He is our REDEEMER. He came to this earth to atone for our SINS. He has already paid the price. Do we drink the bitter cup or do we let Him take that cup from us?

**Satan wants us to believe that our natural man is enough; that it is all we ever will be. He wants us to not progress. Christ see's our potential. He see's us as we really are. We are not our natural man. We are so much more. Our spirit's inside us want to do good. Our spirit wants to return to live with our father in heaven. Our spirit wants us to reach that potential. And sometimes we let our natural bodies, or physical bodies get in the way. We let our habits, our worldly desires get in the way and we don't progress. Ever feel lost? Ever feel unhappy or unsure of where to go? That probably means we need to repent, refocus and COME UNTO CHRIST. We need to change, repent and do better. This is part of life, we don't have to feel like we are the only ones who goes through these moments.

**When we don't pray. Our Heavenly Father misses us.

All in all I was reminded of the truthfulness of this quote by President Packer: "The Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ has the nourishing power to heal starving spirits." I was truly starving. I was truly searching for something to help me back on the pathway. At times, I get so lost and confused with what deserves my time. And I realized and was reminded that the Gospel should always be put first.

Moroni 10:32-33:
"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness and love God with all your might, mind, and strength, then is His grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfected in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God."
"And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sactified in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy without spot."

I know the Book of Mormon is True. I am so grateful for this experience I had. It was just what I needed in my life right now. I am grateful for an inspired bishop and for all the prophets who wrote down those words so we could always have them. I know that all those men really did live. They wrote those words and they really did all that is written. Lehi, Nephi, laman, lemuel, king benjamin, mosiah, alma, alma the younger, moroni, helaman, mormon...etc. They are real. They lived. They testified of our Savior Jesus Christ. I know this book to be true!